The process of restoration started for me when I got off the bed at the abortion clinic. It was pain, anguish, and tears. There was numbness and there, somewhere, was a bit of relief.
Relief didn’t last long. I went back to work, got on with my life. That was the point, right? That’s what everyone said. It was not true.
I was lonely. I was lonely for something that was a part of me and now it was gone. Through the trauma of making the decision to abort my baby, I hadn’t even realized my connection to him. How did they get through that? I hid from the truth. I stuffed all those feelings; I stuffed it to stop it. There was guilt and there was shame, there was remorse and constant emptiness.
When the truth of what had really happened and what I had really lost hit, there were lots of tears. Tears are not always bad. They can be healing also.
Truth always wins.
It acts like a balm—and it hurts for a minute or five. Talking with a person who will hold your secret and listen to your story helps. Then an opportunity may come to share your story with someone else and that helps them heal. As this happens, more healing comes to you. It did for me.
“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”
— Isaiah 1:18
From my heart to yours,
— Lynne
